I am rarely affected by the Libran disease of indecision. Ask my husband: my decisiveness about just about everything occasionally goes so far as to irritate him. (Not often; my husband is sooooo laid back with me that I could probably murder someone, and he would find a way to justify it: "Well, they needed killin'." )
Just now, however, I find myself deadlocked on the question of graduate school. Do I invest the money (somewhere in the neighborhood of $40,000) and the time (1 year classroom work, 1 year practicum, graduation followed by another 1000 of supervision -- about 2 years -- before I can sit for my license)?
Fortunately, there is only one degree in which I am interested: U of R's M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy. It's an incredible program that focuses hard on preparing its graduates to become good family therapists. It is the only graduate program I have been excited about -- with the possible exception of Univ. of Iowa's Writer's Workshop, but I was never going to live in Iowa, so I never applied.
But there are so many variables. If I get in -- and I'm aiming for Fall 2011 so that I can get things in order at home before matriculating -- I have way too many questions floating around in my head to make this an easy decision:
Is it fair to my family to burden us with more student loans?
What will it mean to my household to commit that kind of time to school, studying, working, etc.?
What will going back to school mean for our writing?
How will pursuing this degree affect my marriage?
What happens if my dad gets sick?
What if I don't like it?
Some of these questions seem silly to me even as I write them, but they keep coming up, so I know I have to answer them for myself somehow.
As for the writing... well, it's not going so well right now. I have hardly written anything in more than a month. Oh, I 've gotten a couple of paragraphs in Bride that I will likely keep, and I've been re-reading Veil and making minor tweaks to it. And I started something new called Max, but it's only 3 pages right now; I won't know if it will be viable until it's around 50 pages. So this grand dream of being paid for what I write is not working out all that great at the moment.
It's not that becoming a therapist would stop me from writing, not at all -- I cannot say it's an all-or-nothing proposition. If I could do that, I would know I shouldn't be a therapist because it is a distant second to my first love. But am I up to the challenge of trying for both?
I keep coming back to the question: Is it worth it?
I just don't know.
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
4.12.2010
3.09.2010
On Cooking and Writing
A misleading title, no doubt, though I am both writing and cooking at the moment.
Impossible! you say.
Improbable is perhaps a better word choice, I answer.
To be precise: the crockpot is cooking what I put into it. I am writing this blog.
Huh, you say. Who cares?
And then:
Whatcha cookin'?
Which just goes to show that people would rather know what you're cooking than what you're writing.
(My husband absolutely loves these kinds of leaps in logic.)
UPDATE: 210 pages after ripping out 2.5 that weren't working. A short week this week and next. Off to the big City this weekend. Should be fun.
Impossible! you say.
Improbable is perhaps a better word choice, I answer.
To be precise: the crockpot is cooking what I put into it. I am writing this blog.
Huh, you say. Who cares?
And then:
Whatcha cookin'?
Which just goes to show that people would rather know what you're cooking than what you're writing.
(My husband absolutely loves these kinds of leaps in logic.)
UPDATE: 210 pages after ripping out 2.5 that weren't working. A short week this week and next. Off to the big City this weekend. Should be fun.
3.03.2010
White Noise
I hesitate to write about the anguish of writing because there is so much more important anguish in the world. Seriously, if we never publish a thing, it's not going to be the end of the universe; it won't even mean the collapse of our little universe. Dreams die hard, but their death is generally survivable.
Yet these doubts and fears are part of the process, and if I want to hold myself accountable on this journey, I suppose I need to acknowledge them. Of course, since I just had to rip out 2.5 pages, and I'm feeling kind of stuck, this may be the only writing I'm doing tonight, so there's that to account for too.
Sometimes the anxiety overwhelms the work. Sometimes the work overwhelms the anxiety. For me, the balancing act is constant, and the least upset to my state of mind can create a buzz that obscures the words. I am forever trying to find that inner peace that allows the ideas to rise through me and onto the page of their own accord. If I try to force it, it shows.
I'm not too thrilled with myself, either, when the writing doesn't go well. It tends to make me a little... snappish. Add to that ongoing and never-ending computer issues, and I often feel as if my head might explode. No matter how often I remind myself of the foolishness of getting upset over little things, I can never quite control my temper. And while the phrase "artistic temperament" has been used (by others) to excuse my outbursts, I don't want to be an arschloch to the people I care about in order to get creative. At this point, the trade-off is definitely NOT worth it.
Well... offer me a couple million for the book & movie rights, and then we'll see. :)
Yet these doubts and fears are part of the process, and if I want to hold myself accountable on this journey, I suppose I need to acknowledge them. Of course, since I just had to rip out 2.5 pages, and I'm feeling kind of stuck, this may be the only writing I'm doing tonight, so there's that to account for too.
Sometimes the anxiety overwhelms the work. Sometimes the work overwhelms the anxiety. For me, the balancing act is constant, and the least upset to my state of mind can create a buzz that obscures the words. I am forever trying to find that inner peace that allows the ideas to rise through me and onto the page of their own accord. If I try to force it, it shows.
I'm not too thrilled with myself, either, when the writing doesn't go well. It tends to make me a little... snappish. Add to that ongoing and never-ending computer issues, and I often feel as if my head might explode. No matter how often I remind myself of the foolishness of getting upset over little things, I can never quite control my temper. And while the phrase "artistic temperament" has been used (by others) to excuse my outbursts, I don't want to be an arschloch to the people I care about in order to get creative. At this point, the trade-off is definitely NOT worth it.
Well... offer me a couple million for the book & movie rights, and then we'll see. :)
3.02.2010
One Big World Full of "No"
The title on this one says it all -- not a successful week contacting people in the publishing world. But there's always this week.
Progress: The Pirate's Bride is up to page 203, which means I wrote about 8 pages last week (the average). Meet You on the Other Side is up 0 pages. That's about average too.
Not feeling all that productive this week, so far, either. Le sigh... better get my backside in some kind of gear soon.
Seriously thinking about going back to school...
Progress: The Pirate's Bride is up to page 203, which means I wrote about 8 pages last week (the average). Meet You on the Other Side is up 0 pages. That's about average too.
Not feeling all that productive this week, so far, either. Le sigh... better get my backside in some kind of gear soon.
Seriously thinking about going back to school...
2.23.2010
The (Publishing) Empire Strikes Back
Well, no, not really... just another rejection letter. This was more of a form than usual, so that was kind of depressing. And really, the whole process is just depressing. 'Tis the season, I suppose.
Last week was a short one, with appointments & other pressures that prevented a full-out writing schedule. Even so, Bride is coming along; 195 pages now (13 pp over 2 weeks) and Meet You on the Other Side now stands at a total of 6 pages. Really struggling with that one... I hope that we can breakthrough to the next level soon where it will take off with a life of its own. It's not the story's fault; we just have to get our heads in the game.
Here's to a better week, with happier outcomes.
Last week was a short one, with appointments & other pressures that prevented a full-out writing schedule. Even so, Bride is coming along; 195 pages now (13 pp over 2 weeks) and Meet You on the Other Side now stands at a total of 6 pages. Really struggling with that one... I hope that we can breakthrough to the next level soon where it will take off with a life of its own. It's not the story's fault; we just have to get our heads in the game.
Here's to a better week, with happier outcomes.
2.09.2010
Monday, Monday
Really, it's Tuesday very early in the morning, but for me, since I haven't been to bed yet, it's Monday still and will be until I retire around 7 AM. We're on Bobbi-time! (Which is nothing like Hammertime, I promise.)
Monday seems to have become my administrative day. I write the blog, print copies of things, email agents, and generally TCB. What's the importance of this disclosure, you ask? None, I answer. Just sayin'.
So, last week's counts are up from the week before -- always a good sign. Bride is up to 182 pages (that's 8 additional) and Meet You on the Other Side is up about 2.5 pages for a grand total of 5.25 pp. (Total writing for the week: 10.5 pages.) Wahoo! Well... it's progress, anyway.
Sent out a few more queries but no responses just yet. Got word that the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship apps have opened should we choose to enter. The organizers of the competition write the nicest emails -- informative, encouraging, well-worded. They put a good thing into the world.
Hmmm, anything else? Superbowl Sunday was great. As you might guess, my interest in football generally registers in the negative numbers, but the Saints are dear to friends of mine, so they're dear to me by extension. And some of my dearest friends came to watch with us, which made the evening better than I could have expected.
It's all good, baby. It's all good.
Monday seems to have become my administrative day. I write the blog, print copies of things, email agents, and generally TCB. What's the importance of this disclosure, you ask? None, I answer. Just sayin'.
So, last week's counts are up from the week before -- always a good sign. Bride is up to 182 pages (that's 8 additional) and Meet You on the Other Side is up about 2.5 pages for a grand total of 5.25 pp. (Total writing for the week: 10.5 pages.) Wahoo! Well... it's progress, anyway.
Sent out a few more queries but no responses just yet. Got word that the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship apps have opened should we choose to enter. The organizers of the competition write the nicest emails -- informative, encouraging, well-worded. They put a good thing into the world.
Hmmm, anything else? Superbowl Sunday was great. As you might guess, my interest in football generally registers in the negative numbers, but the Saints are dear to friends of mine, so they're dear to me by extension. And some of my dearest friends came to watch with us, which made the evening better than I could have expected.
It's all good, baby. It's all good.
2.02.2010
Pounding the (Electronic) Pavement
Quick update on The Pirate's Bride: wrote about 10 pages last week, ripped up 2 last night & today, so the page count is up to 174. Having a bit of trouble going forward, mostly because we have too much to say. This is not a bad thing; just have to get my mind organized.
Other news: had two "thanks-but-no-thanks" replies from agents since last week. At least they're quick and generally polite about responding, although one form letter/email left a lot to be desired in terms of both warmth (and more disturbingly) grammar. I think we're glad that agency wasn't interested...
Bless the Internet; it makes this process much easier. In one of our early forays in seeking representation for our screenplays, we created a form letter & inserts, including a response card. We got a lot of (no thanks) responses (not to mention one interested response that in the end we had to pass on because of the problem of retaining the book rights), but it took forever.
Now we can get kicked in the teeth daily, whenever we decide to check our email. Wahoo!
Nah, I don't mean it, not really... We wrote a good book that's worth reading. If you build it, they will come, right?
Other news: had two "thanks-but-no-thanks" replies from agents since last week. At least they're quick and generally polite about responding, although one form letter/email left a lot to be desired in terms of both warmth (and more disturbingly) grammar. I think we're glad that agency wasn't interested...
Bless the Internet; it makes this process much easier. In one of our early forays in seeking representation for our screenplays, we created a form letter & inserts, including a response card. We got a lot of (no thanks) responses (not to mention one interested response that in the end we had to pass on because of the problem of retaining the book rights), but it took forever.
Now we can get kicked in the teeth daily, whenever we decide to check our email. Wahoo!
Nah, I don't mean it, not really... We wrote a good book that's worth reading. If you build it, they will come, right?
1.26.2010
There's a Refrigerator Full of Food... Challenge Yourself!
My longtime friend Alex may recall the title of this post from some witless movie we watched one evening in the early nineties. It made us laugh then, and it makes me laugh now, but it got me thinking tonight when I sat down to write.
The Pirate's Bride is coming along, adding another 11 pages this past week -- again, not bad considering I only had 4 nights instead of 5 to work within. It's pretty good stuff, though some of it could use a massage. That will come, as will the key into the next section that is currently eluding me. Thank goodness, so far, I can count on it to work itself out in my head.
The screenplay, on the other hand, has gone nowhere. I can't quite kick myself hard enough to get to work on it, and that's troublesome since we're A) writing from scratch and B) hoping to submit for the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship competition, with a May 1st deadline.
So... do I challenge us (Jeannine and me) to buckle down, write the screenplay, edit it, workshop it in a group and complete the additional edits in only 4 months? Or do we decide not to send an entry this year? We don't want to send a rough piece -- what would be the point? But should we set the goal and do whatever it takes to achieve it, knowing that pressure sometimes produces a great piece?
It would be a serious time commitment. It would take away from Bride for sure, and no doubt from other projects. Yet it's only a few months, and we have the idea mostly fleshed out.
Decisions, decisions.
The Pirate's Bride is coming along, adding another 11 pages this past week -- again, not bad considering I only had 4 nights instead of 5 to work within. It's pretty good stuff, though some of it could use a massage. That will come, as will the key into the next section that is currently eluding me. Thank goodness, so far, I can count on it to work itself out in my head.
The screenplay, on the other hand, has gone nowhere. I can't quite kick myself hard enough to get to work on it, and that's troublesome since we're A) writing from scratch and B) hoping to submit for the 2010 Nicholl Fellowship competition, with a May 1st deadline.
So... do I challenge us (Jeannine and me) to buckle down, write the screenplay, edit it, workshop it in a group and complete the additional edits in only 4 months? Or do we decide not to send an entry this year? We don't want to send a rough piece -- what would be the point? But should we set the goal and do whatever it takes to achieve it, knowing that pressure sometimes produces a great piece?
It would be a serious time commitment. It would take away from Bride for sure, and no doubt from other projects. Yet it's only a few months, and we have the idea mostly fleshed out.
Decisions, decisions.
1.19.2010
(Just Like) Starting Over
The midnight to morning shift seems to be working, although I do have to take weekends off -- it pleases my husband. Since my husband is a truly wonderful, tolerant, encouraging man who never asks for much and probably deserves much more than I give to him, I am happy to oblige him on this point. Someday I hope to keep him in the style to which he should become accustomed.
So, counting last week Sunday through Thursday, and subtracting last night (long weekend in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King), I wrote 11 pages last week for The Pirate's Bride and 3 pages for our new screenplay, See You on the Other Side. And those page counts don't include editing for both pieces. Considering that I was hoping at one point to manage 8.33 pages a month, I am happy with the bottom line. Could always be better, of course, but for right now, good enough.
On to the agents' queries... I did send one earlier this morning; first one to a book agent since, wait, lemme look it up--holy frijoles!--last April! Wow. Well, that's one good reason we haven't gotten much response; if we don't contact them, I'm pretty sure they won't contact us.
Yikes. I know we got caught up in the Nicholl Fellowship and then moving house, not to mention moving my dad up here, followed by the responses generated by the fellowship, but still... Time for me to fix my lips and get my shit together. (That's what we tell the dog when his flappy lips get rolled up against his gums...)
All right, 3:30AM break is over, time to get to work.
So, counting last week Sunday through Thursday, and subtracting last night (long weekend in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King), I wrote 11 pages last week for The Pirate's Bride and 3 pages for our new screenplay, See You on the Other Side. And those page counts don't include editing for both pieces. Considering that I was hoping at one point to manage 8.33 pages a month, I am happy with the bottom line. Could always be better, of course, but for right now, good enough.
On to the agents' queries... I did send one earlier this morning; first one to a book agent since, wait, lemme look it up--holy frijoles!--last April! Wow. Well, that's one good reason we haven't gotten much response; if we don't contact them, I'm pretty sure they won't contact us.
Yikes. I know we got caught up in the Nicholl Fellowship and then moving house, not to mention moving my dad up here, followed by the responses generated by the fellowship, but still... Time for me to fix my lips and get my shit together. (That's what we tell the dog when his flappy lips get rolled up against his gums...)
All right, 3:30AM break is over, time to get to work.
9.24.2009
A Century of Pages
Finally passed the hundred-page mark for The Pirate's Bride; 108 pages to be exact. This milestone actually occurred a few days ago, but I wanted to make sure I planned to keep what I'd written. (It doesn't happen often, but I do sometimes scrap whole scenes, and that would have taken me back into the nineties.)
Frankly, it doesn't seem like much for ten months' work -- only about 58 pages, 'cuz I had 50 when I started. I try to take into account, however, that I also completed a major and a minor rewrite to Slide in those ten months, as well as moved 1.5 households, provided serious emotional support to my dad as he coped with his wife's terminal illness and eventual death, and laid the groundwork for several other projects.
I would really love to knock out 50 more pages before November 6. That would still only bring my average up to about 8.3 pages per month... but who's counting?
Frankly, it doesn't seem like much for ten months' work -- only about 58 pages, 'cuz I had 50 when I started. I try to take into account, however, that I also completed a major and a minor rewrite to Slide in those ten months, as well as moved 1.5 households, provided serious emotional support to my dad as he coped with his wife's terminal illness and eventual death, and laid the groundwork for several other projects.
I would really love to knock out 50 more pages before November 6. That would still only bring my average up to about 8.3 pages per month... but who's counting?
9.14.2009
Messing About in the Garden
As I write this, I should be working on The Pirate's Bride, for which I have managed to write about six pages in the past ten days, and a whole paragraph (okay, two) today. Chalk it up to the dental hygeniest appointment this morning, and then the errands I had to run, as well as the lunch I had with my dad to celebrate his birthday. (A larger celebration is planned tomorrow; though today is the actual date, we're celebrating tomorrow night.)
Those aren't much of an excuse, though, especially when I took the time to score 237,100 on Bejewled Blitz and look at my email umpteen times this afternoon. If I could play that game professionally, I think I would --I'd at least be getting a return on my addiction. But I digress...
And that's the problem. I'm digressing a lot these days, and regressing, and procrastinating, and all kinds of other "ing"s. Perhaps the problem with being self-motivated is that when you're not, there's no one to kick you up the backside and tell you to move along.
So I'm telling myself:
MOVE ALONG!
Those aren't much of an excuse, though, especially when I took the time to score 237,100 on Bejewled Blitz and look at my email umpteen times this afternoon. If I could play that game professionally, I think I would --I'd at least be getting a return on my addiction. But I digress...
And that's the problem. I'm digressing a lot these days, and regressing, and procrastinating, and all kinds of other "ing"s. Perhaps the problem with being self-motivated is that when you're not, there's no one to kick you up the backside and tell you to move along.
So I'm telling myself:
MOVE ALONG!
8.29.2009
Bended, But Unbroken
Received the email I expected last night: we did not advance to the Semi-Finals for the Nicholl Fellowship.
Je suis desolee.
But I -- we -- will survive. It hurts, no doubt about it. I don't think we ever realize how much we are invested in something until it doesn't come to pass. I wanted this, and I try not to want very much... Except to have faith in the writing, to believe that we are good enough to do this professionally.
My faith is shaken but not lost.
Happy little planner that I am, I do not know what to do next. No doubt, however, something will come along.
Je suis desolee.
But I -- we -- will survive. It hurts, no doubt about it. I don't think we ever realize how much we are invested in something until it doesn't come to pass. I wanted this, and I try not to want very much... Except to have faith in the writing, to believe that we are good enough to do this professionally.
My faith is shaken but not lost.
Happy little planner that I am, I do not know what to do next. No doubt, however, something will come along.
8.09.2009
Guess Who's Back? Back Again...
Long time, no write... To tie up some loose ends: the house deal worked out. We ended up taking it, and we got the seller to pay for the carpet removal. Then we shelled out a bundle to have the floors redone (they really really needed it). Near as I can tell so far, it's all been worth it. We have a nice place, and we all (people and animals) seem to like it.
News: After a two-and-a-half year fight, my father's second wife died from complications created by larangeal cancer. William and I attended the funeral in North Carolina in late July, and Dad has begun the slow process of moving up here with us. We are enjoying his company, but we are so sorry for his loss.
Other News: We made the first cut in the Nicholl Fellowship. Out of a record-breaking 6380 entries, 321 screenplays advanced to the quarter-finals. Slide is one of them. We are very excited, and of course, hopeful that we might make it to the semi-finals. (Between 110 and 120 entries will advance)
Travel: Tomorrow I head back to North Carlina with Dad to start wrapping up the selling of his house and the moving of his stuff, not to mention bringing his 2 beautiful cats home to Rochester. I will have limited Web access for a while, but I plan to pick up this blog upon my return. I even plan to start writing again soon -- with luck, when I get back, or maybe even a little before.
Stay tuned.
News: After a two-and-a-half year fight, my father's second wife died from complications created by larangeal cancer. William and I attended the funeral in North Carolina in late July, and Dad has begun the slow process of moving up here with us. We are enjoying his company, but we are so sorry for his loss.
Other News: We made the first cut in the Nicholl Fellowship. Out of a record-breaking 6380 entries, 321 screenplays advanced to the quarter-finals. Slide is one of them. We are very excited, and of course, hopeful that we might make it to the semi-finals. (Between 110 and 120 entries will advance)
Travel: Tomorrow I head back to North Carlina with Dad to start wrapping up the selling of his house and the moving of his stuff, not to mention bringing his 2 beautiful cats home to Rochester. I will have limited Web access for a while, but I plan to pick up this blog upon my return. I even plan to start writing again soon -- with luck, when I get back, or maybe even a little before.
Stay tuned.
5.07.2009
Cue the Theme Music from "Rocky"
I am not giving up.
Got the latest rejection from an agent today. Boy, they're so nice. I wish they would read the book, but at least they're nice.
I am not giving up.
I read so many books that are truly crap. We have not written the great American novel, but it's entertaining, and it's as good as so much of the stuff that's out there.
I am not giving up.
We will find someone to read this book. They will find someone to publish it. The public will enjoy it. Hollywood will snap it up. The movie will earn everyone money and maybe a few Oscar nominations. We'll keep writing more and let success breed success. We'll help other people be successful.
I am not giving up.
Tomorrow, I will send out the next query letter.
I am not giving up.
Got the latest rejection from an agent today. Boy, they're so nice. I wish they would read the book, but at least they're nice.
I am not giving up.
I read so many books that are truly crap. We have not written the great American novel, but it's entertaining, and it's as good as so much of the stuff that's out there.
I am not giving up.
We will find someone to read this book. They will find someone to publish it. The public will enjoy it. Hollywood will snap it up. The movie will earn everyone money and maybe a few Oscar nominations. We'll keep writing more and let success breed success. We'll help other people be successful.
I am not giving up.
Tomorrow, I will send out the next query letter.
I am not giving up.
5.01.2009
"P" Is for Pertussis
So... I've been coughing for over four weeks now, and from my Internet research and a friend's husband (who happens to be a professional), we've deduced I have pertussis, otherwise known as whooping cough. I didn't realize that despite being immunized against it as a kid, it's still possible to get a milder form of the illness, and anyway, after 10 years or so, the immunization kinda wears off. (Makes you wonder about the other immunizations we received, doesn't it?)
It's very little comfort to know what it is, as there's really nothing I can do about it but cough until I stop coughing. Fabulous. I should be writing, getting back to The Pirate's Bride or storyboarding the next screenplay.
Or barring writing, I should be packing for the move. So far, I've packed one box. One. And that's one more than anyone else I live with. We're a motivated group, I'll tell you what.
Oh, well... it will get done. Or it won't. And this cough will go away. Or it won't.
Everything's eventual.
It's very little comfort to know what it is, as there's really nothing I can do about it but cough until I stop coughing. Fabulous. I should be writing, getting back to The Pirate's Bride or storyboarding the next screenplay.
Or barring writing, I should be packing for the move. So far, I've packed one box. One. And that's one more than anyone else I live with. We're a motivated group, I'll tell you what.
Oh, well... it will get done. Or it won't. And this cough will go away. Or it won't.
Everything's eventual.
4.09.2009
A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action
Argh. Spent Tuesday editing and rewriting 65 pages of the Slide screenplay, for a total of 86 pages DONE (out of the latest count of 105).
BUT... Hit a big snag. Have one major bit left to amend, and we're just not sure how to do it so that it
So why the hell am I wasting time blogging?
BUT... Hit a big snag. Have one major bit left to amend, and we're just not sure how to do it so that it
- Doesn't add too much extraneous material; and
- We don't end up "telling" instead of "showing" the action.
So why the hell am I wasting time blogging?
3.04.2009
Circling
Since deciding to chuck the traditional workforce for writing full-time, I think I've developed ADD or ADHD or whatever the hell one fits. My symptoms include an inability to keep my posterior in the chair for more than a few minutes (unless I'm playing an online game or Spider Solitaire) when I'm actually trying to, oh, you know, WRITE.
I never used to be like this: I used to be able to concentrate for hours on whatever I happened to be working on. And I used to be largely indistractable: for example, I used to do homework in front of the T.V., sometimes with music playing simultaneously, and usually with my parents fighting in the background. And in spite of missing a minimum of 36 days of school each year, I still made good grades -- 37th in a class of 250 in high school, magna cum laude in college in a 3-year accelerated program. Imagine what I might have done if I had actually applied myself!
I don't say any of this to boast; I say it with a deep mourning for what used to be. Nowadays, I have to write a few words,then get up and sweep the floor; write a few more words, then go get a drink; write a little more... you get the picture.
Oddly enough, though, I'm still making progress. At least there's that.
I never used to be like this: I used to be able to concentrate for hours on whatever I happened to be working on. And I used to be largely indistractable: for example, I used to do homework in front of the T.V., sometimes with music playing simultaneously, and usually with my parents fighting in the background. And in spite of missing a minimum of 36 days of school each year, I still made good grades -- 37th in a class of 250 in high school, magna cum laude in college in a 3-year accelerated program. Imagine what I might have done if I had actually applied myself!
I don't say any of this to boast; I say it with a deep mourning for what used to be. Nowadays, I have to write a few words,then get up and sweep the floor; write a few more words, then go get a drink; write a little more... you get the picture.
Oddly enough, though, I'm still making progress. At least there's that.
3.03.2009
Ambition Can Creep As Well As Soar
In some magazine or another that I was reading on the plane as I came back from North Carolina, Amy Tan said that she was a "late bloomer" because she didn't publish The Joy Luck Club until she was 37.
Wow. That only gives me 7 months to meet Amy's deadline.
Fortunately, I'm not as enamored of (or cowed by) a devotion to youth culture and its illusionary definition of success. I haven't forgotten that Richard Adams didn't publish Watership Down until he was in his fifties; Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't publish The Little House series until she was in her sixties. Likewise, Raymond Chandler didn't publish his first short story until he was 45, and his first published novel, The Big Sleep, didn't appear until he was 51.
Of course, Richard, Laura, and Ray all had their breakthroughs more than 35 years ago when America at large clung a little less to the definition of youth being an essential component of success.
I'd better get cracking.
Wow. That only gives me 7 months to meet Amy's deadline.
Fortunately, I'm not as enamored of (or cowed by) a devotion to youth culture and its illusionary definition of success. I haven't forgotten that Richard Adams didn't publish Watership Down until he was in his fifties; Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't publish The Little House series until she was in her sixties. Likewise, Raymond Chandler didn't publish his first short story until he was 45, and his first published novel, The Big Sleep, didn't appear until he was 51.
Of course, Richard, Laura, and Ray all had their breakthroughs more than 35 years ago when America at large clung a little less to the definition of youth being an essential component of success.
I'd better get cracking.
2.18.2009
Stop Worrying Where You're Going... Move On
Finally, FINALLY getting some work done this week. It feels good.
Need to dig out Slide and get to work on that too.
One small step for me & Jeannine, one giant step for... well, me & Jeannine, I guess. Maybe you too if you like the stories we tell.
Need to dig out Slide and get to work on that too.
One small step for me & Jeannine, one giant step for... well, me & Jeannine, I guess. Maybe you too if you like the stories we tell.
2.16.2009
Success Is Like Failure, It's How You Perceive It...
It was a successful weekend, I think; I succeeded in surprising my husband with a weekend "away" at a hotel downtown. It was nice not to have to drive too far to get where we wanted to be.
The success of the weekend led to a discussion with my dear husband about success in general. What is success? Public recognition? Making a lot of money at something? Having your name on the side of a building?
I don't feel as if I'm having much success these days, at least not professionally. Then again, what is success? Is it just making money, or is it doing what you want to do? I am doing what I want to do, for sure. But is that enough? And does wanting both kinds of success asking too much?
Anyway, it was a lovely weekend with my Valentine.
The success of the weekend led to a discussion with my dear husband about success in general. What is success? Public recognition? Making a lot of money at something? Having your name on the side of a building?
I don't feel as if I'm having much success these days, at least not professionally. Then again, what is success? Is it just making money, or is it doing what you want to do? I am doing what I want to do, for sure. But is that enough? And does wanting both kinds of success asking too much?
Anyway, it was a lovely weekend with my Valentine.
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