Just Pick A Direction

I've been working on The Pirate's Bride at all hours of the day and night, mostly 'cuz I can't seem to sleep normal hours.

I've also been working on the synopsis for The Long Black Veil... which is to say, I have a synopsis already, I'm just not sure it's quite right, so I'm rewriting it.

And of course, I've been working on the query letter, too. We sent one, but if we hear nothing (as we've done so far... I know, not quite a week, but I'm impatient), then I'll feel compelled to tweak it before we send the next one.

And now I'm working on the screenplay of LBV. Again, I have one written, but I made at least 50 edits so far in just the first 15 pages.

All of which is to say that I'm working, I'm just not sure I'm making an progress.

I think I might need to get out more... just maybe not at 4 AM.

Doong Sa... Do Not Be Afraid

If you're a John Irving fan, you may recognize that "Doong Sa" is Vietnamese for the second half of this post-title: "Do not be afraid". I assume John got it right; I never checked beause he used the phrase so effectively in A Prayer for Owen Meany that if he did get it wrong, I don't want to know.

Fear is a subject with which I'm intimately acquainted. Blame it on parents with overactive imaginations, or blame it on my own. Chalk it up to pride, of which I have a wide streak. Attribute it to the chaotic world in which we live, where fear is sometimes considered a gift.

The fears I wrestle with most these days have to do with failure. It's the what ifs -- you know them -- what if it's not good enough? What if we never get it sold? What if I'm just a two-bit hack who doesn't write as well as that [insert derogatory comment & expletive here] Diablo Cody? (I hated Juno. Hated it. On multiple levels. And that was before I knew that woman got her start writing a raunchy blog. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I guess, but writers don't get taken seriously as it is. She's not helping.)

But I started this blog to hold myself accountable, so it's time to face my fears. We sent out our first query letter in three years on Wednesday, January 21, 2009. I wasn't going to say anything here, because almost all query letters end in rejection and getting rejected publicly is supposed to be humiliating, right?

Forget that. Instead, I'm going to take advice from -- of all people -- Bob Dylan, who said: "...Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most."

So... no more silence. I'll post about the silence of the agents we contact, if that's all we hear from them. And I'll post about the form letters and the no thank yous and the please send some more followed by more silences if that's what we get. Why not?

Doong sa... do not be afraid.

Hope

Where Friendly Paths Intersect...Looks Like Home for a Time

That's Hermann Hesse paraphrased in the title of this post, just to give the author his due...

I've been thinking about home quite a bit lately. The one I came from, the one I went to, the one I have now.

The North Country haunts me; how could it not? The setting of The Long Black Veil reveals some of my ambiguity about where I grew up, though in the end, the fictional town (Ballantyne) is truly a composite of many towns small and large that institutionalize a quiet racism while pretending morality.

The setting for The Pirate's Bride is even further north, and colder, its desolation as much a part of the tale as the characters. That bleak winter landscape leaves its mark on the people who live there and who have witnessed its unique frozen beauty. It's a fascinating hell.

And though I lived there for eight endless years, it's highly unlikely that I would ever set a story in Oklahoma. I'm sure many people feel at home there, but I never did. The lessons I learned there brought me back East, though, so I am grateful for the knowledge gained.

Maybe someday I'll write about where I live now, though this place does not entirely feel like home either. Maybe I'll never have a true home, except perhaps in the pages of my stories. Or maybe home is less about place and more about a person in whom we find peace and understanding. My husband has given me that.

And maybe that's enough.

Happy Little Planner

Here is how you know when you have too much time on your hands: you start planning your Valentine's Day surprise for your significant other more than a month before the date of the overrated and largely pointless pseudo-holiday.

And it's not as if I don't have anything else to do, between painting the upstairs, going through our accumulated years of crap in the attic & basement, writing The Pirate's Bride, and trying to work up both my nerve & a good query letter for The Long Black Veil -- not to mention the usual maintenance of running a house & prepping it for an additional person/sale/or both. But I like to plan things way ahead of time.

Which reminds me -- we're throwing a costume party for our friends (and my 39th birthday) in October of 2010. Start planning your get-ups, kids -- no time like the present.

It's the End of the World As We Know It (...And I Feel Fine)

The History Channel is running a docudrama on Nostradamus and the end of the world in 2012 as predicted by repeated mentions of the Maya culture & their astronomical prowess and Nostradamus' name. Wow. Based on this show, I will not be flying anywhere in December 2012.

However, since we've got a couple years left, I guess I'll try to finish The Pirate's Bride and maybe finish painting the upstairs hallway.

At least now I have a deadline. Thanks, Nostra! (Can I call you Nostra?)

The Universe Works in Mysterious Ways

Three years ago today, I met for the second time the man who became my husband on October 6, 2007. At the time, our situations were complicated, and while I still wish that our beginning had come at no cost to anyone else, I wouldn't change the outcome. I never believed I could love someone as much as I love William. He is everything I wished for in a friend and partner, and I am so grateful to God and/or whomever/whatever else brought us together.

And I know now the Universe does listen to our most heartfelt requests. About 3 months before we met at a party in New Orleans that second time, I posted the following to a blog I used to write:

25 October 2005
Ask and... Well, Who Knows? Anything Might Happen

Wanted: 1 adult male (no children masquerading in an adult’s body). Age range: 28-50 (ish). Looks/race/religion not that important, and excessive vanity discouraged: no hair longer than mine (mid-back), and no one with more facial/skin/body products than I have (a good bit of wiggle room there.)

Must have: intelligence & common sense; a sense of humor; a job (no pimps or dealers); some financial responsibility (ie don’t borrow money on a weekly basis); some social responsibility (no litterbugs); some faith in something (your choice as to what); respect for (but not necessarily agreement with) my opinions; a liking (or at least tolerance) for cats & family; ability to entertain self while I’m writing; general understanding that all good things come from moderation.

Would prefer: kindness & patience; quick but gentle wit; someone not easily embarrassed (I am so easily embarrassed); talented hands; a good debater but reluctant arguer; an artistic soul; an appreciator of books & music; a good dancer; electrical and/or carpentry skills; a calm, pleasant voice; panache & gallantry.

Must like: quiet (at least sometimes); New Orleans; women only; monogamous sex

Must not: pursue strange or kinky sexual gratification; believe self or any family member is Messiah/Napoleon/Dracula/victim of alien kidnapping/a rock star (unless self or they actually are any of the above); consider fists/feet/additional weapons as the final arbiter to any argument; find constantly undermining others a sport/life calling

Dealbreakers: smoking, serious drugs, excessive drinking/gambling/other addictions; violence; serious lying; failure to support my writing (emotionally, not financially)

In exchange, I offer: reasonable intelligence; strong verbal, editing & writing skills; a willingness to fight fair; amazing massages; keen insight (usually); an appreciation for history/film/gallows humor/politics/Ireland/exercise/beauty; style & flair (at least I think so); some cooking ability; love, valor, compassion; a healthy distaste for real-life relationship drama; good legs & large breasts; warmth; stamina (when interested in task); charm; passion; loyalty; determined innocence; home ownership; occasional insanity & moments of despair; impatience for dithering; good phone voice; faith; hope; color & light Undecided on: marriage; children; place where I want to settle down. Convince me. References available upon request. References required. Serious candidates only need apply.

With the exception of electrical & carpentry skills, he's got it all, because even though he says he can't dance, I sure love to dance with him.